Marriage?????

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A letter in my local newspaper's editorial section began with the all too familiar yet pedantic message that indicated the writer was in favor of same sex unions and all the attendant rights and privileges under the law.  But at the end, things got nasty and he threateningly decried calling these couplings marriage.  That, it seems, is an exclusive right of the heterosexual community.  So if I'm getting it right, this newest wrinkle in the issue sets up lines of battle around a word.  

Ok we know that language is power.  That's been demonstrated by specific marginalized groups and modulations of language have been effectively employed to negotiate relations of power.  Blacks reclaimed the word nigger to remove it's derogatory associations and it now serves as a term of endearment.  Women have similarly commanded the term bitch and the homosexual community have proudly embraced queer.   So, what's up with married heterosexuals?  Is there, amongst them, a fear that same sex marriage will create a societal dynamic that will marginalize them from power?  Would being 'married' suddenly relegate them to the back of the bus?  I'm not sure I get the argument.

I have a real problem with the whole idea of marriage anyway.  I've been legally married twice and legally divorced four times.  You don't actually need to be married to be forced into a financial settlement with an ex.  So, I have to wonder why anybody would do it in the first place.  I mean, geeze, be careful what you wish for.  I get, that for the gay community, marriage is a site of negotiations of power.  I would like to see as much as anyone that we, as a society, get beyond this shameful history of discrimination.   But man, marriage, that seems like a step backward.  I thought we were becoming too sophisticated for such antiquated institutions as marriage.  I would hope for voices, among the gay community, to speak for a brave new world that eschews the parochial and limited contract of marriage for a more forward thinking and elaborately constructed couple.

Baby steps I suppose.  Let's get these basic prejudices dealt with first and move on to the next level.  At the very least let's get over the 'word' marriage.